My husband and I recently celebrated our First Anniversary. A few weeks ago, we went through our interview for my husband's Green Card process. I must admit that I felt extremely nervous and at the same time, it started a beautiful reflection about relationships and how they interface with consciousness, with choice, with vibrational frequency.
I lived in India for 12 years and practiced celibacy with an intent and goal of reaching "enlightenment" from my spiritual practices. In fact, I was mad after "finding enlightenment" believing it possible to reach. At one point in my sojourn in India, it dawned on me that I could not reach "enlightenment" alone. To have all of me up on the table; to see all of me, it required being in relationship, in particular an intimate relationship.
This began my journey back home to the US with the wish to meet a most wonderful man with whom I could grow in life together. And yes, I met him, seven years later! What a dance?!?! The one year passion play that has exposed more of "me" than 12 years of deep deep meditation. The 12 years of meditation actually helped me stay and stay calm when at times I wanted to jump and run - lol.
Our partnership continues to astound me with the honesty, communication, clarity and awareness that we both bring to the relationship. Which in turn, pushes our intimacy deeper and deeper, wider and wider, into more and more spaciousness, and higher and higher frequency expressions. The relationship itself acts as a catalyst for increasing our consciousness, raising our awareness.
Openly sharing and working with our underlying wounds, emotional scars, and traumas that every person brings from early childhood into the relationship, has been transformational. We put the "elephant in the room" straight up onto the table and began working with it. Though not easy, and at times extremely challenging, this has proved ultimately delightful and one of the most profound pathways into our ever deepening intimacy.
Without seeing ourselves with razor-sharp clarity, true consciousness expansion remains ever elusive. Fundamentally, we can delude ourselves that we are growing in full consciousness and awareness through our own inner exploration with internal inquiry, meditation, contemplation and other such practices. AND without watching ourselves in relation to another while exploring our reactions and responses, emotional and mental states, true consciousness expansion remains apart from us, distant.
Another blessing from my rich, beautiful relationship with my husband, circles around my life's work with raising frequency. At times, each of us comes to the table in different frequency states, sometimes in higher states than the other, and at times in lower frequency and emotional states. When one of us slips or dips in our vibrational frequency, a quick self-reminder for the other to hold their own frequency state prevents the easy slide into empathic lower frequency resonance.
The challenge of maintaining my own frequency state has built what I call my "strong frequency muscle". I can flex much easier any frequency state I wish thanks to this precious practice with my husband. We both know now how uncomfortable it feels when one of us stabilizes in lower frequency. We consciously made a commitment to help the other maintain high frequency states. It is easy to be in a joyful, high frequency state when all alone. It is an entirely different matter to maintain that state with others; in particular an intimate other that might at that very moment be challenging an inner image of ourselves.
Each night before sleep and every morning upon awakening, we consciously hold hands and choose light and goodness for ourselves and for others. We move ourselves into higher frequency expressions not only in our mind and awareness, but also in our cells.
If you have been someone purposely avoiding relationships or not sure if you want to be involved with someone, from the depths of my heart, I highly recommend this rich, juicy, full, messy life path; the most rewarding journey of my life so far! May you each find your version of a partner like my husband!