I used to think that standing up for myself which might initiate conflict was “lower frequency” or “un-spiritual”. How drastically have I reversed my opinion on this! It feels incredible and empowering to honor yourself enough to create a healthy boundary and then actually *defend* it. Though the word *defend* seems strong, occasionally I have noticed, others, even unconsciously, take advantage of our inherent kindness. To reiterate, they are not even aware that they have crossed our boundary or taken advantage of our kindness; they did not act maliciously, only unconsciously.
Creating healthy boundaries requires a fundamental high amount of self-love and self-appreciation; not to mention a powerful, healthy metabolic system and a large storehouse of vitality and high frequency.
Looking back years from now, I will view this amazing year of 2018 as a seminal turning point for my consciousness. Mark my words. I recognize this is a bold statement and position to hold without full data driven evidence. Stay with me though, and let’s see what happens in the next five to ten years, as a direct result of this year 2018.
2018, the year where ALL the rotten apples began falling out of the trees; the “rotten apples” of people, situations, beliefs, staunchly held positions, opportunities, etc no longer serving me. I have been blessed with multiple opportunities to claim my value and ask for what is rightfully mine. AND as one who prefers avoiding conflict, I must say it feels awesome to claim and ask for what is rightfully mine. The first few occasions for me to stand up for myself felt incredibly shaky. With each attempt, the asking felt increasingly natural and easy; the *ask* came from strength and clarity.
One small practical example helps illustrate this flow from shaky into power. An old friend of mine had reached out after more than ten years to catch up and ultimately ask my help in a matter. I first qualified how busy I am these days looking after my business, my clients, and helping my husband’s startup business as well, not to mention my commitment to home cooking my food from scratch and my daily yoga/meditation/Qigong practice. If he understood this and was willing to be flexible, then I could certainly help.
As it turned out coordinating two busy schedules during Mon - Fri work hours proved challenging. He asked me if I could meet up on Saturdays. My first response was to immediately accommodate though it crossed a boundary my husband and I set up to spend our weekends together. I quickly remembered and responded “no” while explaining my boundary.
After about a week of unsuccessful scheduling, he again brought up how much easier it would be if we could meet on a Saturday. In the past, I most likely would have felt guilty, acquiesced, and met him on a Saturday. Now, in my current sense of power, I again refused and held my energetic space. Eventually we found a time and it worked out famously.
I am positive we have all had experiences like this of claiming our value and what would work best for our lives. It feels fantastic doesn’t it? Claiming our value comes much easier when the stakes are low. Not as easy if the situation involves asking for a raise at work and potentially risking our job or raising our fee and risking our income source. One hint: when our own self-value and our vibratory frequency rate is high enough, the ask becomes vastly easier.
Why is it infinitely more difficult to make a value claim with your own self? Even when your claim is for your own highest well-being? Think: claiming twenty minutes of personal time for your health in the midst of a busy family, or even facing a certain personal laziness to exercise or meditate, etc. or postponing gratification especially when hungry.
Good News! Each and every time we choose what is the highest for ourselves, we reinforce those new neural pathways and the road ahead becomes much easier to repeat.
I wrote the essential steps to claiming your value:
🔺 Know You are Worthy of all you desire, and of having “the best”.
🔺 Work on keeping your Frequency high.
🔺 Have a clear image or idea of what you deserve or what is rightfully yours — like vibrant health, being paid for your work contributions, etc.
🔺 Notice daily every opportunity to claim your value, and decide which are worth pursuing and which can be released.
🔺 Speak to your sudden growing fear, telling yourself encouragements like: “Stay strong”, “You deserve this”, “Self, we are in this together”.
🔺 Make the claim. Remember, you are worthy.
Seize the moment, it is yours! Hope these thoughts and insights help your personal journey.